To my fatherless self,
I see you.
I see you do your chores,
and be on your best behavior.
I never understood why.
Why all the added stress.
Why all the added anxiety.
I see you today,
I see why.
You thought fighting over all those chores,
And all good behaviors or actions would bring you back.
You see, it’s been 20+ years and I just figured out why.
Ever watched Lilo & Stitch?
We’ll friends, Lilo was feeding the water which causes her to arrive late and wet to her dance recital. She gets made fun of for carrying so much about the water.
Lilo thinks by feeding the water, then it would continue to make it happy with no rain. Happy water means good road conditions. And why does she want happy water?
Lilo’s parents died during a rain storm.
Grief has a way and it definitely comes in waves. Today I feel calmness; free of strong emotion or agitation.
I wasn’t a failure.
I was a grieving child.